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Seen

by hasira · about 5 min read

Air tore into Kiro's lungs.

His whole body jerked.

He coughed hard, dragging in another breath like he'd actually been underwater.

Susieto Kiro

“Kiro!”

Susie.

He opened his eyes.

Not water.

Not darkness.

The living room.

The television still glowing across the room.

Rain against the windows.

Thunder outside.

Floor beneath him.

Susie was kneeling beside him.

Hair messy from sleep.

Eyes wide.

One paw gripping his shoulder.

Susieto Kiro

“Kiro?”

Kiro stared at her.

For a few seconds, he didn't understand.

His chest still burned.

He could still feel something around his leg.

Still see blood floating through black water.

Kiroto Susie

“...What?”

Susie let out a shaking breath.

Susieto Kiro

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

Kiro looked around quickly.

Couch.

Table.

Window.

Closed.

No roof.

No broken body outside.

No water.

His paws immediately went to his arms.

Nothing fresh.

Then his legs.

Nothing.

He swallowed.

Kiroto Susie

“I fell.”

Susie frowned.

Susieto Kiro

“Yeah.”

Kiro looked at her.

Kiroto Susie

“What?”

Susieto Kiro

“Off the couch.”

Silence.

He looked down.

He really was lying beside it.

Kiroto Susie

“...Oh.”

Susieto Kiro

“You started moving around.”

Susie sat back slightly.

Susieto Kiro

“You were breathing weird. I tried waking you up, then you just...”

She gestured toward the floor.

Susieto Kiro

“...fell.”

He stopped.

Too much.

Blood.

The roof.

The impact.

Water filling everything.

He could still hear his own thoughts screaming at him.

Susie watched him.

Susieto Kiro

“Nightmare?”

Kiro stared at the floor.

Kiroto Susie

“...Yeah.”

His voice shook.

Kiroto Susie

“Something like that.”

Susie didn't ask.

Kiro was grateful.

Then he noticed she wasn't looking at his face anymore.

Her eyes had moved lower.

His arm.

Kiro followed them.

And froze.

One sleeve had been pushed almost completely up when he fell.

Scars.

Too many.

Some faded beneath the fur.

Some older.

Some much more recent.

Still bleeding.

Not only the smaller marks his claws sometimes left.

Different ones.

Deeper ones.

Things she wasn't supposed to know about.

Kiro grabbed the sleeve.

Pulled it down immediately.

Too late.

Susie had already seen.

Neither of them spoke.

Kiro's heart started beating harder.

Not from the nightmare anymore.

Kiroto Susie

“How much...”

His voice caught.

Susie looked at him.

Susieto Kiro

“What?”

Kiroto Susie

“How much did you see?”

She hesitated.

Only for a second.

It was enough.

Kiro's ears lowered.

Kiroto Susie

“Oh.”

Susieto Kiro

“Kiro...”

Kiroto Susie

“I'm fine.”

The answer came automatically.

Susie stared at him.

Kiro looked away.

Kiroto Susie

“I'm fine.”

His paws started shaking.

She saw it.

Kiro grabbed the end of his sleeve.

She saw all of it.

Kiro

“No...”

Susie moved slightly closer.

Susieto Kiro

“Kiro?”

Now she knows.

His chest tightened.

She knows what you really are.

Kiro

“Stop.”

Susie froze.

Susieto Kiro

“What?”

Kiroto Susie

“Nothing.”

Pathetic.

Kiro squeezed his eyes shut.

Fucking disgusting.

Kiro

“Shut up.”

Susieto Kiro

“Kiro...”

Look at her.

He couldn't.

She's scared of you.

Kiro

“No.”

His voice cracked.

She'll leave.

Kiro

“No, no...”

Susieto Kiro

“Kiro, look at me.”

Kiroto Susie

“I can't.”

Susieto Kiro

“What?”

Kiroto Susie

“I can't.”

His voice broke.

And then he did too.

Kiro folded forward and covered his face.

The first sob came out suddenly.

Ugly.

Loud.

He immediately tried to swallow the next one.

Couldn't.

Kiro

“Fuck...”

His shoulders shook.

Kiroto Susie

“I'm sorry.”

Susie's ears lowered.

Susieto Kiro

“For what?”

Kiro shook his head.

Kiroto Susie

“I'm sorry.”

Susieto Kiro

“Kiro.”

Kiroto Susie

“I'm so fucking sorry.”

Another sob tore through him.

His breathing started speeding up.

Kiroto Susie

“I don't want you to see that.”

Susie didn't move.

Kiroto Susie

“You weren't supposed to.”

Susieto Kiro

“Kiro...”

Kiroto Susie

“I know how it looks.”

Susieto Kiro

“What?”

Kiroto Susie

“I fucking know.”

He grabbed the sleeve and pulled it farther over his paw.

Like he could hide what she had already seen.

Kiroto Susie

“I know it's disgusting.”

Susie's expression changed immediately.

Susieto Kiro

“No.”

Kiro laughed once.

A horrible little sound between breaths.

Kiroto Susie

“Don't.”

Susieto Kiro

“I'm serious.”

Kiroto Susie

“You don't have to fucking lie.”

Susieto Kiro

“I'm not.”

She feels sorry for you.

Kiro's breathing caught.

Just like everyone else.

Kiro

“Shut up.”

Susie stared at him.

Susieto Kiro

“Kiro, I'm not saying anything.”

Kiroto Susie

“I know.”

He pressed both paws against his head.

Kiro

“I know, I know, I know...”

His breaths became shorter.

Faster.

Too fast.

Susie noticed.

Susieto Kiro

“Kiro?”

He inhaled again.

Nothing.

Again.

Still nothing.

His chest felt locked.

Kiro

“No.”

He shook his head hard.

Kiroto Susie

“No, not again.”

Susie moved closer.

Susieto Kiro

“What do I do?”

Kiro couldn't answer.

His paws were starting to tingle.

His heart slammed against his ribs.

Kiroto Susie

“I can't breathe.”

Susieto Kiro

“You are breathing.”

Kiroto Susie

“It doesn't fucking feel like it.”

Susie glanced toward the hallway.

For a stupid second, like Rin might appear there.

He didn't.

No one who had seen this before.

No one to tell her what she was supposed to do.

Just her.

Kiro curled tighter.

Kiroto Susie

“I don't want this.”

Susieto Kiro

“I know.”

Kiroto Susie

“I don't want another fucking...”

His breath broke.

He couldn't finish.

Susie watched him for another second.

Then stopped thinking.

She moved forward and wrapped her arms around him.

Kiro went completely stiff.

Susie immediately loosened her grip.

Susieto Kiro

“Sorry, I...”

Kiro grabbed her.

Hard.

Both arms around her.

His face disappeared against her shoulder.

Susie froze.

Then hugged him again.

Tighter this time.

Kiro broke completely.

A sob tore out of him.

Then another.

And another.

He clutched the back of her shirt like she could disappear if he let go.

Kiroto Susie

“I'm sorry.”

Susie closed her eyes.

Susieto Kiro

“Stop apologizing.”

Kiroto Susie

“I don't want you to fucking see me like this.”

Susieto Kiro

“I know.”

Kiroto Susie

“You shouldn't have to deal with this.”

Susieto Kiro

“I know.”

Kiroto Susie

“I'm fucking...”

He couldn't finish.

His breathing broke again.

Susie felt his whole body shaking against her.

She didn't tell him to calm down.

Didn't tell him everything was fine.

It wasn't.

She just held him.

One paw against his back.

The other behind his head.

Kiro cried harder.

Messy.

Loud.

He buried his face deeper against her shoulder, trying to hide while literally holding onto her.

She knows now.

His claws caught slightly against the fabric on her back.

She saw what you did.

His grip tightened.

She'll leave.

A small broken sound escaped him.

Susie felt it.

Susieto Kiro

“Kiro?”

Kiroto Susie

“Don't.”

He struggled for enough air to speak.

Kiroto Susie

“Don't leave.”

Thunder rolled outside.

Kiro held onto her like he already expected her paws to disappear from his back.

Susie lowered her head slightly against his.

Susieto Kiro

“I'm not leaving right now.”

Kiro squeezed his eyes shut.

Another sob.

His breathing was still too fast.

His heart was still hammering.

His paws were numb.

But she was there.

No Rin.

No instructions.

No perfect words.

Just Susie sitting on the floor beside him.

Holding him.

Kiro's sleeve stayed clenched between them.

He knew she had seen underneath it.

There was no hiding it again.

Not really.

He cried until the apologies stopped sounding like words.

✶end of chapter 11✶
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