KIRO’S STORY / CHAPTER 08 OF 36
Tracks
by hasira · about 14 min read
The party was still going when Kiro decided to leave.
Music came through the walls.
Someone laughed in the kitchen.
Rin was arguing with somebody about whether the cake had been cut evenly.
Kiro stood near the front door with his jacket already on.
He felt better.
Mostly.
His heart was normal again.
His breathing was normal.
Everything was normal enough that nobody looking at him would know what had happened less than an hour ago.
He was just tired.
Completely fucking tired.
Rin noticed him putting his shoes on.
“You're leaving?”
Kiro looked up.
“Yeah.”
“You sure you're okay?”
“Yes.”
Rin stared at him.
Kiro sighed.
“My heart isn't exploding. I can breathe. I know what room I'm in.”
“Impressive.”
“Fuck you.”
Rin smiled slightly.
Kiro stood.
The bow tie was still folded inside his pocket.
He could feel it when his paw brushed against his jeans.
Rin leaned against the wall.
“Message me when you got home.”
“I know.”
“I'm serious.”
“I know.”
“Because if you don't I'm gonna assume you collapsed in a ditch somewhere.”
Kiro opened the door.
“Very comforting.”
“You're welcome.”
Cold air entered immediately.
Kiro almost smiled.
Then a voice came from behind him.
“I'll go with you.”
Kiro turned.
Susie was standing a few steps away.
Green plaid shirt.
Jacket thrown loosely over it now.
Her messy black hair looked even messier than before.
Kiro blinked.
“You don't have to.”
“I know.”
There it was again.
That answer.
Simple.
No guilt.
No explanation.
She just wanted to.
Kiro looked toward Rin.
Rin looked at him.
Then at Susie.
Then back at Kiro.
His smile started.
Kiro pointed at him.
“Don't.”
“I didn't say anything.”
“You were about to.”
“I absolutely was.”
Susie laughed.
Kiro looked away.
“Whatever.”
He stepped outside.
Susie followed.
Rin stayed in the doorway.
“Don't die.”
Kiro raised one paw without turning around.
“Goodnight, Rin.”
“That's not a promise.”
“Fuck off.”
The door closed behind them.
The music became quieter.
Then almost disappeared.
Kiro normally reached Rin's house through the urban part of town.
Streetlights.
Small shops.
Rows of houses.
It wasn't interesting.
But it was easy.
He knew every turn.
Susie walked beside him for maybe two minutes before pointing toward a smaller road.
“You know there's another way, right?”
Kiro looked where she was pointing.
The road disappeared between a few houses and continued toward the trees.
“Through there?”
“Yeah.”
“That's the forest.”
“Very observant.”
Kiro looked at her.
Susie smiled.
“There's an old railway line through it. Goes almost all the way toward your side of town.”
Kiro frowned.
“How do you know where I live?”
“Rin told me.”
Kiro stopped.
Susie stopped too.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
He started walking again.
Rin talks about you.
Kiro pushed the thought away.
Susie pointed toward the forest.
“It's nicer than the road.”
Kiro looked at the sky.
It was late.
But not dark yet.
The sun was already low, turning everything orange between the clouds.
Tiny drops of rain were beginning to fall.
Barely enough to feel.
Kiro looked toward the trees again.
Orange.
Red.
Brown.
Green pines between them.
The kind of weather he would normally choose on purpose.
“...Fine.”
Susie smiled.
“That sounded enthusiastic.”
“I am extremely enthusiastic.”
“I can tell.”
They left the road.
The tracks appeared a few minutes later.
Or what was left of them.
Old steel disappeared beneath moss.
Grass grew between the wooden sleepers.
Some sections were almost completely buried.
Leaves covered everything.
Orange.
Red.
Wet brown.
The forest was quiet except for the rain touching the branches above them.
Kiro walked directly between the rails.
Susie walked on one of them for a few steps, arms slightly out of balance.
Kiro watched her.
She slipped.
Caught herself.
Kiro looked away before she could see him smile.
“I saw that.”
“No, you didn't.”
“You absolutely smiled.”
“I have no idea what you're talking about.”
Susie jumped down from the rail.
“You're terrible at lying.”
“So I've been told.”
They continued walking.
For a while, neither of them spoke.
It wasn't bad.
That surprised Kiro.
Silence with someone else usually made his head start working.
Say something.
She's bored.
You're making this awkward.
But Susie didn't seem uncomfortable.
She looked around.
Kicked a wet leaf off one of the tracks.
Stopped once to look at a mushroom growing beside an old sleeper.
Then kept walking.
No pressure.
Kiro liked that.
Don't.
He shoved both paws into his jacket pockets.
His fingers touched the bow tie.
Kiro pulled his paw away from it.
Susie looked over.
“You cold?”
“No.”
A drop of rain landed directly on Kiro's nose.
He wiped it away.
“...Maybe a little.”
Susie laughed.
The rain became slightly heavier.
Still soft.
Nothing worth hiding from.
Kiro looked up through the branches.
“That is actually nice.”
Susie glanced at him.
“Yeah?”
Kiro nodded.
“I like autumn.”
“I noticed.”
Kiro looked at her.
“How?”
“You've stopped looking miserable.”
He stared.
Susie smiled.
“Mostly.”
“Fuck you.”
“Rin was right.”
“About what?”
“You're an asshole.”
Kiro almost laughed.
“Great.”
They walked farther.
The forest became darker as the sun dropped.
Somewhere ahead, the tracks crossed an old road that hadn't been used in years.
A railway barrier still stood beside it.
Rusty.
The paint almost completely gone.
One side hung permanently lowered across nothing.
Susie stopped.
“My legs hurt.”
“We've been walking for like twenty minutes.”
“Exactly.”
She sat on the old barrier.
Kiro looked at her.
Then at the tracks ahead.
Then sat beside her.
The metal was cold even through his jeans.
For a moment, they said nothing.
The forest stretched around them.
Rain.
Leaves.
Dark rails disappearing in both directions.
Susie moved her legs slightly.
“So.”
Kiro immediately looked suspicious.
“So?”
“Are you always that nervous?”
Kiro's ears lowered.
“No.”
Susie looked at him.
Kiro stared ahead.
“...Yes.”
“Okay.”
He glanced at her.
“That's it?”
“What am I supposed to say?”
“I don't know.”
“Neither do I.”
Kiro looked back toward the tracks.
“Good conversation.”
“I'm trying.”
“Rin says that too.”
“Maybe he's stealing my material.”
Kiro smiled slightly.
A few seconds passed.
Susie's voice became quieter.
“Earlier was scary.”
Kiro's smile disappeared.
“Oh.”
“I'm not saying that to make you feel bad.”
“I know.”
“Do you?”
“No.”
Susie nodded.
“Fair.”
Kiro rubbed his thumb against the edge of his sleeve.
“I'm sorry.”
Susie looked at him.
Kiro closed his eyes.
“Fuck.”
“You almost made it.”
“I know.”
She smiled.
Kiro stared at the ground.
“I don't usually...”
He stopped.
Susie waited.
Kiro tried again.
“I don't usually have that happen around people.”
“The panic attack?”
“Yeah.”
A pause.
“The other thing too.”
Susie didn't ask what he meant.
Kiro appreciated that.
“I normally deal with this alone.”
Susie looked down the railway line.
“That sounds shitty.”
“It is.”
Simple.
No speech about how he shouldn't be alone.
No promise that she'd always be there.
Just shitty.
Kiro liked that answer more than he probably should have.
The rain tapped quietly against the barrier.
Susie pulled her jacket closer.
Kiro looked at her.
Then immediately looked away.
Don't.
She noticed something near his shoe.
“What's that?”
Kiro looked down.
A small stone sat between two old sleepers.
Gray on the outside.
One broken edge showed something pale and slightly reflective inside.
Kiro leaned down and picked it up.
He rubbed the dirt away with his thumb.
Susie watched.
“You collect rocks?”
Kiro looked at her.
“Minerals.”
“Oh.”
“That's a difference.”
“I believe you.”
“I absolutely don't.”
Kiro stared at her.
Susie smiled.
He looked back at the stone.
“It's probably nothing interesting.”
“You're still keeping it.”
Kiro slipped it into his pocket.
“...Yeah.”
“Then it's interesting enough.”
Kiro went quiet.
The stone settled beside the folded bow tie.
He could feel both when he moved.
Something from tonight he wanted to hide.
Something from tonight he wanted to keep.
Kiro didn't think about that too hard.
They stayed longer than either of them meant to.
The sunset disappeared.
Orange became gray.
Gray became dark blue.
The rain stopped.
Cold started settling between the trees.
Susie rubbed her paws together.
Kiro looked toward the tracks.
“We should probably move.”
“Probably.”
Neither of them moved.
Another minute passed.
Susie looked at him.
“We're really good at this.”
“Shut up.”
Finally, they stood.
The rest of the walk was darker.
Not completely dark.
But enough that the forest had lost most of its color.
The pines became black shapes.
Wet leaves reflected what little light remained.
Kiro knew the tracks were taking them closer to his house now.
He could recognize some of the surrounding roads through the trees.
Susie walked closer than before.
Not touching him.
Just closer.
Kiro noticed.
He didn't move away.
Don't.
He ignored it.
For once.
They eventually left the forest behind.
A few houses appeared.
Then streetlights.
Then Kiro's street.
He pointed ahead.
“That's me.”
Susie looked toward the small house.
“That's your place?”
“Unfortunately.”
“It looks nice.”
“You haven't been inside.”
“Is that a warning?”
“Maybe.”
They reached the door.
Kiro stopped.
Susie stopped beside him.
For some reason, this part felt harder than the entire walk.
“So...”
Kiro looked at the door.
Then at Susie.
Then at the dark road behind her.
“You going back?”
“Probably.”
Kiro looked toward the forest.
It was probably dark now.
“And you're going through there?”
Susie shrugged.
“I have a phone.”
“That's not a weapon.”
“It could be.”
“What are you gonna do, throw it at a murderer?”
“If necessary.”
Kiro stared.
Susie smiled.
Kiro looked at the sky.
Another small drop of rain landed on his ear.
Then another.
He sighed.
“You could...”
He stopped.
Susie waited.
Kiro's ears lowered.
“You could stay for a bit.”
Susie looked at him.
Kiro immediately continued.
“Not like stay, stay. Just until it stops raining or gets less fucking cold or whatever. I have...”
He looked toward the house.
“...hot chocolate.”
Silence.
Kiro regretted every word.
Stupid.
Too much.
She doesn't want to come inside.
Susie smiled.
“Hot chocolate sounds good.”
The thoughts stopped.
Just for a second.
“Oh.”
Kiro unlocked the door.
“Okay.”
He stepped inside.
Susie followed.
Kiro turned the light on.
The house looked exactly the same as when he had left it.
Small.
Quiet.
Crooked pictures.
Old coffee table.
Little shelves.
Minerals sitting between random objects.
Susie noticed them immediately.
“You really do collect them.”
Kiro looked toward the shelf.
“Yeah.”
“That's a lot.”
“Don't judge me.”
“I'm not.”
Kiro took his jacket off.
Susie did the same.
The house didn't feel as empty with another person standing inside it.
That thought made him uncomfortable.
So he went to the kitchen.
“Hot chocolate.”
“Right.”
Kiro opened one cupboard.
Then another.
He stopped.
Two mugs.
They had been there for years.
One he used.
One he almost never did.
Kiro stared at them.
From the living room, Susie called:
“You need help?”
“No.”
Too quickly.
Kiro reached into the cupboard.
Took out the first mug.
Then the second.
He placed both on the counter.
For a moment, he just looked at them.
Then he started making the hot chocolate.
Susie stayed in the living room.
At least for about thirty seconds.
Then he heard her moving around.
Kiro looked over.
She was standing in front of one of the shelves.
Not touching anything.
Just looking.
Small stones.
A few crystals.
A piece of quartz.
Something dark with thin white lines running through it.
A smooth orange stone Kiro had found years ago and kept even though he wasn't completely sure what it was.
Susie glanced toward him.
“Can I?”
Kiro hesitated.
Then nodded.
“Just don't drop anything.”
“Wasn't planning to.”
She picked up one of the smaller pieces.
Turned it slowly between her fingers.
“What is this?”
Kiro looked over.
“Fluorite.”
Susie looked at it again.
“It looks like glass.”
“It doesn't.”
“It kind of does.”
Kiro stared at her.
Susie smiled.
“I'm kidding.”
“You better be.”
She put it back exactly where it had been.
Kiro noticed that.
Most people would have just dropped it somewhere on the shelf.
Susie didn't
He looked back at the mugs.
Don't
The milk was getting too hot.
Kiro turned the stove down.
A few minutes later, he carried both mugs into the living room.
Susie took hers carefully.
“Thanks.”
“Don't burn yourself.”
“Very romantic.”
Kiro nearly dropped his mug.
Susie looked at him.
Then started laughing.
“I'm joking.”
“I know.”
His ears were already flat.
“You absolutely didn't.”
“Shut up.”
Susie took a sip.
Kiro watched her expression.
She noticed.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“It's good.”
Kiro relaxed slightly.
“I know.”
“Confident.”
“It's one of the few things I can make without setting something on fire.”
Susie looked toward the kitchen.
“That's not reassuring.”
“It shouldn't be.”
Kiro took another sip.
For a moment, they just stood there.
Rain touched the windows softly.
The house was warm.
Quiet.
Maybe too quiet.
Kiro looked toward the hallway.
Then back at Susie.
An idea came to him.
He hesitated.
“You wanna see something?”
Susie looked at him.
“Depends.”
Kiro frowned.
“Why does everybody say that to me?”
“Probably experience.”
“Fuck you.”
She smiled.
“What is it?”
Kiro looked toward the window again.
“Something nice.”
Susie raised an eyebrow.
“That's suspiciously vague.”
“It's not weird.”
“That makes it sound weirder.”
Kiro sighed.
“Just come on.”
He started toward the stairs.
Susie followed with her mug.
“Where are we going?”
“You'll see.”
“Kiro.”
“It's literally upstairs.”
“People can murder people upstairs.”
Kiro looked back at her.
“Do you think I could murder you?”
Susie considered it.
“...Probably not.”
“Wow.”
“Sorry.”
“No, it's fine. Great for my confidence.”
They reached Kiro's room.
He put his mug down for a second and walked toward the window.
Susie looked around.
Then at him.
Kiro opened it.
Cold air immediately entered.
Susie stared.
“What are you doing?”
Kiro picked his mug back up.
“Showing you.”
He put one leg through the window.
Susie looked outside.
Then at him.
“You're going through the fucking window.”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Because the wall is inconvenient.”
“Kiro.”
He smiled slightly.
“Come on.”
Kiro climbed through.
The roof beneath the window was wide and fairly flat, only sloping gently toward the edge.
He sat down near the window and looked back inside.
Susie was still standing there.
Mug in both paws.
Watching him.
“What?”
“I'm deciding whether you're fucking with me.”
“I'm not.”
“That's your roof.”
“I know.”
“You sit there?”
“Yeah.”
“Often?”
Kiro paused.
“Kind of.”
Susie looked outside again.
The last light of the sunset was disappearing behind the forest.
Orange near the horizon.
Dark blue above it.
Wet rooftops reflected the streetlights below.
A thin rain moved through the air.
Susie looked back at Kiro.
“...Okay.”
She held a paw out to him.
Then took it.
Kiro helped her through.
Her shoe slipped slightly against the wet frame.
“Fuck.”
Kiro caught her arm.
“I've got you.”
She found her footing.
For a second, they stood much closer than either of them expected.
Kiro looked at her.
Susie looked back.
Then Kiro let go.
“Sorry.”
Susie frowned slightly.
“For catching me?”
Kiro stopped.
“...Right.”
She smiled.
They sat beside each other.
Not too close.
Not far away either.
Susie picked up her mug again.
For a while she just looked.
The town below.
Streetlights.
Dark roofs.
The forest in the distance.
The old railway line was somewhere inside it now, hidden beneath the trees.
The rain was light enough that they could hear individual drops hitting the roof.
Susie finally spoke.
“Okay.”
Kiro looked at her.
“What?”
“You were right.”
“About?”
“This.”
She looked around.
“It is nice.”
Kiro smiled slightly.
“I know.”
Susie glanced toward him.
“You come up here a lot?”
Kiro looked back toward the town.
“Yeah.”
“When?”
He shrugged.
“Whenever.”
“Very specific.”
Kiro rubbed one thumb against the warm mug.
“When I wanna be alone.”
Susie went quiet.
Kiro continued before he could decide not to.
“Or think.”
A pause.
“Sometimes not think.”
Susie looked at him.
Kiro kept his eyes on the distant trees.
“The house gets...”
He stopped.
“Too quiet?”
Kiro thought about it.
“Sometimes.”
He looked down toward the street.
“Sometimes too loud too.”
Susie frowned slightly.
“Your house?”
“My head.”
“Oh.”
Kiro took another sip.
“So I come up here.”
The rain touched his ears.
He didn't seem to care.
“Nobody talks to me.”
“Nobody asks anything.”
“I can just sit.”
He looked toward the forest.
“Watch cars.”
“Watch the weather.”
“Think about stupid shit.”
Susie smiled.
“What kind of stupid shit?”
Kiro shrugged.
“Everything.”
“Helpful.”
“I try.”
A few seconds passed.
Then Kiro added quietly.
“Sometimes I stay until I'm freezing.”
Susie looked at him.
“That sounds healthy.”
“That's extremely healthy.”
“Obviously.”
Kiro almost smiled.
Susie looked toward the horizon again.
“So this is like your secret place?”
Kiro's expression changed slightly.
He didn't answer immediately.
“Not secret.”
“No?”
“No.”
A pause.
“Just mine.”
Susie looked at him.
Kiro suddenly realized how that sounded.
His ears lowered.
“I mean...”
Susie looked back toward the town.
“I know what you mean.”
Kiro stopped trying to explain.
That was probably safer.
They sat there quietly.
Susie didn't fill the silence.
Didn't ask why he needed somewhere to be alone.
Didn't ask what he thought about up here.
She just stayed beside him.
Kiro looked at her once.
Then quickly back at the lights below.
Don't.
He took another sip of hot chocolate.
For once, the thought didn't sound very convincing.